The Beginning

This is an attempt to blog all by myself, about myself!  

Living and growing up in a very small world and returning to it later on!

Life in a small community is very different than a much larger world outside.
I was born in the middle 1940s when people were used to hard times, well
especially my mom and dad.    They knew "how to work hard" for a little
amount of money.

my mom

My folks were both school teachers in small country schools in the area.  In the summers my dad farmed our poor ground to make ends meet and would often have to get a loan to make it to September again.
We had chickens, cattle and pets.

They told us of stories about a trip to California in 1939 working their way there and back.  They married in 1935, and decided not to have children until later!  And after we were born, mother stayed at home to see that we were "brought up correctly".  (And today I am very grateful)

My one and only sister was born 4 years earlier than me and was the favored one until the day I came into the  world.  From that day forward I was hated for many years!   (I didn't know this until later on in life)

Everything that I did as a young child revolved around church, school activities or family and relatives.
It was the time when people of all ages were together sharing problems, gossip, religious views, getting to know each other, 4H clubs and just having carefree days!  (at least that's how I felt about it).

Here are some things that I do remember about my childhood;


my dad



1.  a day spent with my dad at the country school, eating fried chicken mother had fixed, at 10:30 instead of at noon.

 
2.  Remembering my Dad crying when his dad died of leukemia in the days where nothing could be done.

3.  Spending the night with my grandma Rhodes, because she was alone and scared of the dark, and she always slept with a sawed off shotgun or ice pick.   One incident I remember was the time I stayed awake all night because I was afraid I might get up and she would think I was an intruder and she would stab me with the ice pick! OR the many times she let us have a nip of her homemade elderberry wine as long as we didn't tell!  and how she was always full of Fun!!   She taught us little ditties like, "lets go to bed said sleepy head, O lets wait awhile said slow, Put on the pot said Greedy Gut we'll eat before we go!"    or  "Beans, beans the musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot, the more you toot the better you feel, so eat beans at every meal".  ( At which we would all giggle hysterically)  Or how she could call up the spirits of those who had passed away.   She would only do this at night and only if we begged for a long time because I think it scared her too!   She would  call them by name and we would listen for sounds and at the first tapping or noise we were all greatly afraid!



G'ma Rhodes

 And all the times she would come to our home because she didn't want to be alone, after Owen died, ( her husband) , and then in 2 days wanting to go back home.   My mom would get upset but Daddy would always take her and bring her back over and over again.  He was a very patient man and loved his mom deeply!

4.  Family get-togethers for birthdays in our large family was generally on the Chasteen side so that we could visit and laugh and just enjoy each others company.

5.  These get-togethers were  usually for Sunday lunches in which the men ate first, left the table and then the ladies and kids would sit around the table to eat and talk sometimes for more than an hour.     We learned a lot just listening, but our favorite time was going to our moms Sisters house, (Aunt Bessie) in Aid, MO because she had an attic that we were allowed to play in, and there were baby dolls, a baby bed and toys of all kinds.    We played with all the cousins and had great times!      My Mom had only 1 sister but 5 brothers.    Her sister was the oldest and my mom was next to the youngest of the children, quite an age difference but they were very close!  Her brothers were Uel, Russell,  Fletcher,Commodore, Clinton.

6.  My sister and I rarely spent time with our Grandma Chasteen because she was sickly most of the time or very busy in church work.    She was extremely religious.  Grandpa Chasteen always loved to tease and make us laugh or cry!
He was a very busy man taking care of the only orchard  in the area of Bloomfield at the time.    I remember red delicious apples that were so large that you had to share or you would be too full because it was like eating 3 apples!    He had a great knowledge about his orchard, even knew how to splice 2 different kinds of trees together.    He taught this to his son Russell, who later took over the business of the orchard. 

My Sister



My sister, Laura, was the one I first knew as a friend, although I didn't realize how much she detested me because I had come into this world and robbed her of First and only place in the family.  I loved her dearly because she was older and smarter than me!  We shared a bed, toys, pets, closet, etc.   We spent many a hot summer day outdoors playing and not even realizing it was hot as we had no air conditioning and didn't realize summer could be any other way.

 

We sometimes napped on an old spring bed that was outdoors, we played in the sand along with the cats and kittens that were born every Spring!   We sat under shade trees, laid on our backs under the sun and clouds finding numerous shapes in the clouds!!   We had picnics, koolaid, and (sodas only on the 4th of July!)  Made homemade ice cream   by turning it with our dad the old fashioned way.

We also had responsibilities, we gathered eggs, helped drive the cows to the barn with our dad, hung clothes out to dry on a line in the back yard, helped to separate the milk from the cows(using a cream separator),cleaned our room, washed dishes in the sink etc.      We listened to radio programs and music as we had no television until we were older.      We often went to bed early by listening to stories on the radio, on of which I remember was called X minus1, sort of a UFO type story that continued each night much like a soap opera.

Our house had a porch on most sides and we often had to sweep it clean, but were not allowed too close to the old cistern where we got our water!   Our Dad was afraid his little girls might get hurt in some way, we were never allowed a bicycle (although we learned to ride on our neighbors bikes), or ride horses.

At Christmas, we got only 1 present and a stocking full of candy and gum and fruit, and 1 large peppermint stick.    We were better off than our neighbors down the gravel road as sometimes all they had were stockings filled with goodies!
 Two Christmases I remember in particular:
I had wanted a princess doll, and either they were too expensive or my mom could not find one, so I got Twins- boy and girl, with matching clothes and although disappointed I really loved playing with them.
And the other was when my sister and I wanted a doll and beneath the tree on Christmas morning sat 2 dolls, unwrapped, one with brown hair like my sisters and the other  a blonde like myself!    How exciting and I think we both still have those dolls today!

A memorable Birthday was when I was about 10, my parents took us and my G'ma Rhodes to shop at Poplar Bluff.   My grandma (according to my mom) had planned to buy me a new dress which she thought I really needed.     All was well, until I spied a stuffed Collie dog that was the largest I had every seen.  I wanted it with all my heart, more than any dress, and finally my mom relented but I could tell she was angry on the way home, but I loved it for a very long time!

Me & Laura in "fancy dresses"

Laura and I many days playing together as we grew up, such fun for me to have an older sister to look up to!   These were some of our fancy dresses taken in front of the Elephant Ear plants.  We  always had dogs and our favorite one was a collie whom we named Lassie.   She had puppies every year, and we sold them for 5.00 each! They were such cute little fur balls and thats when we sold them the best!     Lassie was very protective of us and when my sister dated she slipped around and bit one of them on the leg tearing his pants!

When we got to high school, my sister no longer liked me, didn't want me around her friends, and told me to stay away from her and them.   This made me want to be around them more!    I remember her classmates
and recognize many of them today!   
She also had a boyfriend and my mom was always waiting at the door when she came home from a date.
If she didn't come in right away my mom would stand and click the outside light on and off until she came to the door!    She didn't tolerate lateness very well!   I learned a lot about how to act with mother when I started dates and boyfriends!  

After high school, my sister left for college and was dating our unmarried minister at the time.   She soon got married to the "preacher man" we called him.  I don't know, but I think she did this to appease my mom who quite approved of a minister, and also to get away from home!

Thus her life began and she had 2 wonderful children, that I got to babysit as often as I could!    Steven and then Cynthia!   How I loved being Aunt Mary!!!

I was sixteen and old enough to drive to Essex, MO where my sister lived with her husband and 2 kids, it was a neat get away for a teenager, and fun to see and babysit the kids.     Little Steven was a blonde handsome boy and the apple of his moms eye!    She was totally absorbed in him.   Then she learned that she would have another child.  This time is was a girl and they named her Cynthia (we called her Cindy).    They lived in the methodist parsonage in Essex, next to the church and it was totally furnished!

My sister was a good mother and played with her children, I remember the badminton net in the back where she played with them and so did I went sitting with them.  She gave them lots of love and attention and always kept a clean house (just thought I would throw that one in)   There was always a place for everything and everything was in its place.

She has always loved to exercise even in High school when she made both me and my mom lie on the floor with her holding our ankles, or having us hook them under the couch,  and insisting that we do sit ups!     She always kept her back straight, and her stomach held in, with proper posture at all times.      I vowed that once she was gone I would not do an other exercise as long as I lived.       However, in retrospect, I can see where she is the healthier of the two of us.
At age 70 she continues to run and her description of running "you have pain but keep on going, and then you know what pain really is like and how to get through it"

She has endured many a painful thing in her lifetime, but I think she has endured because of her strength of self  discipline.     I still look up to her this day!!!   And she is my very best friend because she knows my background as I know hers!  To ever lose her would be absolutely devastating!



College Days!!

OH wow, I am away from home and own my own!!!
No MOM to tell me what to do!!!   I felt alive and free for the very first time!!

I moved into a house with several girls, made new friends....learned I could do what I wanted now!    This old 2 story house was the spill over for the dormitorys and we were lucky!   We had to go to the dorms dining room to eat meals however, and sometimes in the winter that was no fun so we learned to eat whatever we could.     I had an electric popcorn cooker and often we would heat soup in it as well as make popcorn.

I smoked, drank, cussed and just lived a wild life I thought!!   I really didn't know too much about the Wild side of life, but I did date and mostly we ran around in groups for the first year.

I was enrolled in the RN program at SEMO State University, where I learned a lot more about life!   Classes were so difficult I had to spend many late hours studying during the week.   We were required to make at least a C in every class, including history, english, national and state government..oh YUK!!  

Nursing classes were hard but there was plenty of instruction.     I learned to read a lot of material and try to remmeber it .....in other words, I learned how to study for the first time.    Anatomy and physiology was a very hard subject but I managed to pass.  Whew

While still in college, before graduation, I met a man I had known most of my life.    I was attending the annual West Pleasant Valley church event and picnic and on that day 2 guys asked me for a date.    I turned them both down.    However, one insisted that we go out another time so I said ok.     He had been married, and I thought was divorced, but actually was only separated legally.
My Mom had such a fit but really couldn't say too much since I was 20.   We dated and had good times driving around and around the different drive-in food places known as "The Pig" and "Studs".      He would come to the house where I lived in Cape all dressed up in a suit and was so handsome!   We would go to the "Purple Crackle", eat, talk, dance and smooch afterward.     OH MY!     When I was home on weekends he would take me to the drive in theater in Dexter and he was the only man I ever knew who actually wanted to watch
the movie!!!    After I graduated in 1965, I got married.

I graduated from Nursing School with an Associate of Arts degree in nursing and then took State Boards.  When my scores finally arrived in the mail I was thrilled!    My best score was in Medical Surgical field.... that was my favorite and I was elated.

My first job was at Doctors Hospital in Poplar Bluff, MO, working in the Emergency Room,  the drs would yell, bring me this and that and I had no idea where things were and I was scared!!   After a few months they promoted me to the Med/Surg floor and I was the only RN for 60 patients!     Wow what a difference, and I felt that I had found my niche.  

 After about 9 months I was asked to come home to Bloomfield to be the Nurse at the Bloomfield School and be paid through a grant      I accepted the position, and by Dec of 1966 I found out that I was pregnant with my first child.

My child was due in August of 1967.     So I quit work and never went back until later in life.   Because 4 years later his brother was born and we were moving in to the farm house that Grants dad had owned.
Also in the summers, Craig, my stepson, would come to visit and stay,     More about them later on.

The Wedding!

Dec 30, 1965 at WPV church

       Graduation from Nursing School in August1965, was great, and by then the man of my dreams asked me to marry him or maybe I asked him to marry me, hm mm cannot remember how it was!   (That is explainable after 45 years of marriage).   

So Dec. 30, 1965, was the date and we married the little country church called  West Pleasant Valley Methodist Church where we both had grown up.  (by this time he was fully divorced and had a 5 yr old son who lived with his ex wife).

the little boy would stay with us summers and he was a cutie.    His name was Craig

On our honeymoon we went to St Louis and the weather was warm, very very warm, like 70 degrees and it rained the entire time, literally poured rain so hard we could barely leave our room to go out and eat!    We enjoyed "Southern Comfort" and I kept the bottle for years along with my wedding gown!    What wonderful memories we had of our times together.   Seems like only yesterday and now it has been 45 years!   The secret to a long and happy marriage I would say is you tell each other that you love them every single night and seal it with a kiss.    

I remember our first house was one with a breakfast room that had windows all around.    I loved that room so much!    My husband went out and purchased a whole case of beer in anticipation that the Church people would definitely do a shivery since we were married.  He kept it outside in a "well" house to stay cool because if they came it would be when we were least expecting..    The joke was on us because they never came, the beer went flat and had to be thrown away for the most part.
Although I am not sure I spelled Shivery correctly or not, it was something that was done to a couple and they brought shot guns and surrounded your house and shot the guns in the air to alert you.  (usually at night) especially around bedtime for a newly married couple!
I tried to be what I thought was a good wife and cooked 3 meals a day!   Finally, one day, my husband said you know you could just have sandwiches or something like that once a day instead of 3 big meals!  Wow what a relief that was.  
The second house we got was closer to both sets of parents, and it had 80 acres of ground of which we were proud, since he was farming.    It only had 2 bedrooms and a floor furnace.    We lived there when my first son was born, but moved about 3 years later to his family's farm house and continue to live there today.

I was raised in the era when women took care of their men, fed them, washed their clothes, took care of the kid raising, and waited on them in general.    I must say after all these years that it has changed very little.   My daughter in laws think that I also spoiled my children, which I did to some extent but only saw it as my duty.     I guess when you love someone you really enjoy helping them and seeing to their needs.  I always found pleasure in my husband and my boys!!  Now that I am older my husband helps me a lot more and is more attentive, patient, and kind.    IF that sounds like bragging well it could be, very positively!

I guess as we age our children do not think that we care as much for them, but oh this is not true at all, it seems that as we age our children remain the same....OUR KIDS!   Even when they are 40 and beyond they are the ones we love, even if we often forget how to show it since we cannot hug and kiss them like we did when they were little.  They have someone else to do that for them!  How wonderful to think of leaving this world behind when they have someone to love!    How scary to think they don't!!!!
AND OH their children are merely little extensions of them and we can hug and kiss them!!

.